Making Other Plans

Thanks to Milla for great beta and all the rest of you who read it and commented while I was working on it. The title comes from a John Lennon
lyric: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy), 1980.

Logan pressed down on the countertop surrounding the sink and eased himself into a standing position. His arms wavered under the weight of his body as he looked in the mirror.

Had he changed? Was he the same man? What would the future hold this time? For him? For Max? For their lives together…

He sighed as he wheeled through the living room toward the front hall. He'd been back in the apartment for nearly a week, but things were still an incredible mess. Max had offered to come over and help him get things straightened out, but he knew that domestic chores were not her idea of fun. Plus, with the money from Renfro, he could once again hire someone to help him get things settled. All he had to do was get his act together and call someone.

With new resolve to get that taken care of, he pulled his jacket from the front closet and headed for the door. It was time to deal with another one of those tasks he had been trying to put off.

Three Weeks Earlier

"You seem to be doing pretty well," Sam Carr said as he looked across his desk at Logan.

Logan shrugged. "What are you going to do? Cry, become despondent, think about putting a bullet in your head?"

Sam nodded, his face serious. "Yeah, you might. So, is this you coming to some kind of understanding or denial?"

Logan twisted the cane in his hand. "The first time it was shock…how had this happened to me? Waking up in the hospital, I was surrounded by strangers, including you."

He paused, took in a deep breath, and looked up at the doctor. "The second time, it almost did kill me. I knew I was losing something precious, I could see it happening right in front of me, but what I didn't understand was that I wasn't really afraid of losing my legs…I was afraid of losing Max."

"And this time?" the doctor asked.

"Acceptance…sadness…realizing that things between Max and me aren't going to change…we've lived through this before, but we will be losing some things that until recently I never really gave much thought."

"Such as?"

Logan looked down at the cane, still in his hands and then back up at Sam. "Dancing. Me holding her in my arms with her face tucked in my chest. Running along the beach. Feeling her tucked next to me as we lie in bed."

Logan paused, looking away from the doctor and out the window. "I've been thinking about a family. About kids. I mean, Max and I haven't talked about it, but I know how important her family is to her. You saw how she was with Zack. Those brothers and sisters mean so much and it's hard for me to think that I might not be able to give her our own family."

Logan pushed himself out of the chair, grunting slightly as he stood. He turned and slowly made his way to the window, looking out over the city. "I missed not having brothers and sisters. I always said that when I had a family, I would make sure that there were at least two of them, so they wouldn't have to be alone after their parents were gone."

Sam pushed back his chair and walked over to where Logan was standing.

"It doesn't have to be a dream you lose, Logan."

Logan approached the small brick building. The button to open the door automatically hung out of its casing, clearly broken beyond repair. He reached for the heavy door, and pulled, rolling back down the slight incline that led up to the door. He had nearly gotten the door open wide enough to get in, when a tall man with a long, curly ponytail, burst out of the building. He stopped short of Logan and stared for a split second.

"Sorry, dude," the man apologized and then left quickly for the parking lot, the door slamming closed once again.

A moment later, Logan entered the office and approached the young woman behind the desk. She handed him a short stack of forms and indicated that he should wait until she called for him.

Three Weeks Earlier

"There is a window of opportunity here," Sam had said in his office that day. "Let me runs some tests before we get too involved, but neurologically, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to bank sperm now and use them if and when you and Max decide to have a family. That takes the pressure off of making any decisions right now and gives you more options later on."

"And that's possible?" Logan had asked.

"Well, two things cause infertility in spinal cord injured men," Sam explained. "Neurologically, it's very difficult for a man with SCI to ejaculate any sperm. You wouldn't have that problem right now, but you will again in a month or so. The second problem comes from non-viable sperm, but that doesn't usually happen until 3 to 5 years post-injury. We'll want to do a sperm analysis, but I don't know why you wouldn't be a good candidate for banking."

Logan eased himself back into the chair by the desk. "Okay, where do we start?"

Sighing, Logan looked up to check if the desk attendant had reappeared. The analysis had come back with favorable results and after working with Sam to make the arrangements, he finally found himself at Seattle Cryogenic. He had not wanted to bring up the subject with Max…she had so many other things on her plate at the moment…but holding her off from his bed that past few nights had not been easy either. Finally the appointment had been available and none to soon. He was losing movement and control every day and it wouldn't be much longer when the sperm bank would have become a moot point.

"You're in a good mood," Max said as she smiled across the table at him. "I know we've discussed what a good cook you are, but you really outdid yourself with this meal, Logan."

Logan smiled back at her, then reached over to swipe his finger across her lips. "You left a little of that ginger glaze behind," he said, then stuck the finger in his mouth and licked it. The past few months had been hard with the lies between them, but now they were being honest with each other, telling the truth. Except for one thing…when he went to the sperm bank, he wasn't sure if he would tell Max. Now that she had lost the baby, he wasn't sure if it would be helpful or not.

Logan released the brakes on his chair and rolled back from the table. Max stood up and reached for the platter that had held the pork chops.

"Let's not bother with that now," Logan said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned and gracefully set the platter back down on the table as she sank onto his lap.

"You got something else planned?" she asked, her eyes twinkling.

"Yeah," Logan answered, as he began to kiss her. His lips trailed across hers, down along her neck, his hands searched through her hair, pulling her closer to him all the time. After several moments, he broke their embrace, released the brakes on his chair and wheeled them into the bedroom.

"So, where were you this afternoon?" Max asked as she slipped her lightweight black sweater over her head.

"Checking on some investments," Logan responded, his voice muffled slightly as he leaned forward to pull off his shoes. He tossed them aside as she came around in front of him. He had gotten the final analysis from Seattle Cryogenic. The sperm were viable and he had arranged for them to be stored for the indefinite future.

"Let me get those," she said as she reached for his left foot and carefully began to pull the knit sock from it. She set that foot down and reached for his other one.

When she finished, he reached for her, twisting the button at the top of her pants until it released. He slid his fingers along the zipper, pulling it down and exposed the tawny skin on her belly.

"God, Max, you are amazing," Logan intoned as he leaned forward and brushed his lips across Max's skin. He slid his hands along her hips and began to work her pants down. His kisses followed down her body as he exposed more skin.

Max leaned forward and ran her hands across Logan's shoulders and then down his back. She reached his waist and pulled his shirt free from his pants.

"Let's get this off," she whispered.

Logan broke his kiss and leaned back, allowing her to pull the shirt free. She leaned forward again and ran her hands across his chest.

"You're amazing," she said as her hands ranged across his body. She stood back a half step and traced the line of hair down his chest and toward his groin. Her hand stopped at his pants.

"Let's get those off," she said as she smiled.

Logan pressed his hands down and lifted himself off the seat of his chair. Max slid down the zipper and efficiently removed Logan's pants.

"Okay, let's get in bed," she said, an evil grin on her face. "And oh hell, let's get you off…"

Logan quickly transferred to the bed and slid until his back rested against the pillows. Max slipped onto the bed and moved so she was facing him, her legs on either side of his. She leaned in and began kissing him again, slowly working her way down his body. She slid further down the bed, as
she got closer to her final destination. Her hands ranged across his abdomen, softly touching each inch of him. Her lips caressed his hips, his thighs until finally Logan gasped.

"I'm not a patient man, Max!" he called.

She laughed and resumed her slow teasing movements.

Logan pressed his hands down on the bed and raised his hips to meet her face, his unfettered organ brushing against her chest.

Logan dropped down on the bed as Max sat back on her heels to look at him.

"You're amazing, Logan Cale."

Logan leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. "Not as amazing as you, Max. Never."

"Oh, so you think you'll get your way with compliments?" she asked, smiling.

"Always," he responded as he leaned back onto the pillows. "I'm ready for you."

Max smiled at him and looked down to find that he had grown hard during their play. She ran her hand down his firm shaft, then tipped her head up
to look at him. "Well, that's no fun; I was going to work my magic on you first."

"Magic already happened, baby."

Max slid her hands along Logan's body and lifted slightly until he slipped in her. As she rocked forward, Logan watched her intensely, his hand roaming over her body finally reaching for her clit. His hand moved rapidly over the bone, increasing her pleasure with each stroke. She could feel
him growing within her, filling her with every inch of himself. The pressure grew as she came closer to climax. Suddenly, her body was awash with joy, and she shuddered and fell down against him.

Logan slipped his arm beneath her and rolled them so they were on their sides facing one another. He traced along the edge of her face with his long fingers.

"I love being with you this way," he said quietly. "I don't want to lose that." Their eyes locked and held. A tear began to leak from the corner of Logan's eye. Max reached up and brushed it away.

"We aren't losing anything," she answered. "Lying, keeping secrets…that's the only way we're going to lose anything. My loving you has never been
about walking or wheeling…it's not about the sex or your cooking." She stopped and smiled. "Okay, initially it was about the cooking, but these are desperate times we're in. But I want to be with you, Logan…no one else."

Logan was quiet for a moment, then leaned in and kissed her. "You do so much for me, Max. You'll never know."

"It's a two way street, you know," she replied.

"With a little construction now and then," he teased.

"Yeah, but after they open the detour, the road is usually much better," she answered.

"Much."

Logan slid from the bed, back into his chair. Max had fallen asleep. She had needed more rest since the pregnancy. He wheeled back from the bed and turned to head into the kitchen.

He couldn't think of it as a baby. That hurt too much. It wasn't meant to be. Sandeman had seen to that.

Logan slammed his hand down on the counter. Damn. But why did it hurt so much? Why did he want to pull Max tight to him and never let her go? Why wouldn't she share her grief with him?

He turned toward the sink and lifted the teapot to fill it with water. As he shut off the water, he felt her arms come around from the back. Her face dropped down to rest on the top of his head.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered. He set the teapot down on the counter and turned so he could face her. "But you should get your rest."

"I missed you next to me," she answered. She sat down on his lap and slipped her arm around his shoulders. "We were so close tonight and now I feel like you're a million miles away."

Logan took his hand off the rim of his wheel and encircled her waist. "Right now we have a lot of things to deal with, and I just don't want to give you more things to worry about, Max."

"But sharing the burden makes it easier for both," she reminded him.

"I'm sorry about the baby," he said again.

"And I'm sorry about New Mexico," she replied. "But we're here, and we're strong and maybe we'll get those chances again some day."

"Yeah," Logan replied, his voice betraying his distraction as he thought of the vials waiting at Seattle Cryogenic. "Some day."

FIN

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